I'm a doctor of law. I'm a lawyer, okay. I say it that way because people would be like, "Ooh, she helps people." "No, I hurt people." -- Hanna Evensen

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS. -- Jimmy Carr

Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Now, they are not laughing now, are they? -- Bob Monkhouse